I had a funny day yesterday, I felt hungry, I mean really hungry. Before noon I managed to chomp through 1 bowl of Optivita, 2 cups of coffee, one packet of baked crisps, one weight watchers toffee bar, one banana and two plums. At 12.30 I polished all that off with two hot cross buns for lunch.
I felt quite cross with myself for eating so much but when I added it all up at the end of the day (with dinner of course) I was still within my points. How was that even possible? Before I started weight watchers I rarely used to snack. My dinners are no different really and I have always eaten breakfast. The only thing I have cut back on dramatically is wine and take-aways - oh yeah! That would be why it was possible!!
Anyway, yesterday I felt fat, spotty and frumpy (OK that's because despite losing a stone I am still fat and frumpy) and full of self loathing for eating so much. I can't seem to make my mind see that what I ate yesterday was quite healthy - I ate fruit and cereals with skimmed milk for goodness sake! So why do I feel so crap about it?
I think maybe its because when I look at my then and now photo I can't actually see any difference. There is a difference, after a whole stone gone of course there is, today I fit comfortably in a pair of trousers I haven't worn for 4 years or more. I have lost vast inches but I am still grossly overweight. I feel like what I have lost is a cup out of the ocean and no-one is going to notice for a long time yet.
I am not angling for compliments here, I just wanted to record how I felt for my own reasons. Now I am off to weigh the dog again!
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