Feeling great...

Bit of a wobbly start to the week again but nowhere near as bad as last weekend. Feeling very determined this week. Took the dog a long walk last night and for once he didn't hunker down halfway up the street. My poor Harry has allergy problems and a dodgy leg and walking is a real problem for him as much as he loves it.

At the moment I am cooking Roasted Tomato soup. Thats really good for me, I have meal out tonight so planned this from last night. I am proudly polishing my halo right now!

Well it happened...

Two weeks into being good and I put on weight. It was inevitable really considering the start of the week I had, but it could have been a lot worse if I hadn't tried to claw back the points. In the end I only put on half a pound whereas I reckon it could have been 1-2 lbs if I had carried on as I was.

So now I am back to a new week again. DH was a saboteur yesterday and bought the biggest chocolate cake you have ever seen for dessert so I need to keep away from that and we have a meal booked tomorrow night for our 14th anniversary but as its Mediterranean food I think it will be fairly healthy. We debated going Mexican but then I thought about the sour cream and guacamole and tortilla wraps and decided it would be a catastrophe!

So here we go again!

The she-devil in my head...

This is the first day I have struggled since re-starting and its purely because I am feeling low and to be be honest a little bit lonely.

My neice and nephews are visiting from the USA for just over a month and nanny and granddad are determined that my daughter spends as much time with them as possible.

This is on top of me recently having a heavy workload so they have been minding her for a couple of days a week already, the days she is not at nursery, hence I feel like we are not getting much time together at all at the moment and how can I refuse her time with her cousins, she loves playing with them so much.

As well as that, being self-employed can be a little lonely anyway so here I am chatting to well.... basically.... my computer. I haven't spoken to anybody else all day and the little she-devil in my head is taking the opportunity to make herself heard.

This morning I have already eaten a ww oaty bar and a ww caramel whip (it's a good job I have some in the cupboard else who knows what I would have scoffed!). By blogging here I am hoping that it will give me some determination not to eat anything else today that is not in my plan.

I am now trying to invoke the angel iny my head to fight the evil lady!

What a dope I am! Pt II

OK, the second reason I am a dope is because I didn't track between Saturday weigh-in and Tuesday. This was mostly due to being very busy but a little to do with being scared of how bad I had been.

Saturday was a meal out and wine, Sunday a picnic at drayton manor followed by wine and Chinese and Monday was a long day work followed by Fish and Chips and wine.

However, I could have done a lot worse. At some points I have made a conscious decision to eat a low point alternative eg. instead of having a dessert after my meal on Saturday I waited till I got home and tucked into a solero instead and I did a low point fat tuna and mixed bean salad (which was massive and very filling) for my picnic whilst hubby and daughter tucked into cheese sandwiches and when everybody had ice-creams I chose a twister at only 2 points instead. So yes I have gone over my points massively this week but after taking a deep breath and tracking it all yesterday I realised I could just about scrape most of it back as long as I do some walking and reduce my points for the rest of the week. So that means no treats, no wine but some nice thoughtfully planned dinners. I am struggling with the exercise as I have hurt my ankle but I am doing what I can. How about that for positivity!

What I dope I am!

Well weigh in was interesting this week, by the scales at home I was expecting approximately a 4lb loss (not a usual occurrence so I was quite excited) so I was surprised when I saw the weight and my leader uttered the words "2.5 lbs, well done". Are you sure? I asked. Yes 2.5lbs. I was looking at the scales and thinking to myself, well I'm sure that is 4.5lbs lighter than last week...

Well, I looked at my card and sure enough it was 2.5lbs. For some reason I had it in my head that my weight last week was 18st 12.5lbs when in fact it was 18stone 10.5lbs. So in a way I was 4.5lbs lighter but instead of being instantly elated at losing 2.5lbs I was just momentarily confused and I never got to do a beg YeeEEEEEEEs . I left the scales muttering about what an idiot I was! Well anyway, I am very pleased at the loss after trying so hard all week.

Some maths!

We are booking our holiday for June next year and I was mulling over how long away that is and realised if I lost an average of 1lb per week I could be just over 4 stone lighter by the time we go! We have a date set in mind, we want to be away for my birthday so its sort of a double incentive. So in total that's 51 weigh ins.

I am a little anxious about setting such a big goal - despite the time scale I have to do it in and also my track record shows I am not good at maintaining 1lb a week, even when I was being good I didn't really manage that much but I figured that even if I managed to do around 1/2 a pound a week that would still be 2 stone and my weight loss will probably be somewhere in between. Right, that's it, its going on the goal list!