Well, its been a long time since I blogged (again). Since my operation I just can't seem to keep on track. I couldn't go the gym for 3 months after my operation, then I started eating like I have never done before, drinking and snacking every single night to relax after tough days with DD or just to cheer myself up or to treat myself (ringing any bells?), then I started getting really depressed and feeling like I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings, crying at the slightest thing, getting narky and resentful of everything in my life, desperate that things just felt wrong.
I looked up depression on the nhs website and all of the bad habits I was forming, combined, could lead to depression. Too much sugar, too much alcohol and not enough excercise. Luckily the peak of my depression came at the point where I was able to re-join the gym and start excercising again so that was my first step towards regaining control and it has helped me feel better. However I am finding it tough to give up those bad habits I formed since the operation so I am fighting just to maintain at the moment.
If you have read my blog, this feeling down and in utter despair is just not me. I like to think that I am a positive and generally cheerful person. I am however determined not to gain anymore weight. I have thrown out all of my clothes in bigger sizes, so I really can't afford to gain any more weight. When I went on my last holidays in May I managed to fit in a size 18 shorts but I don't think I will be able to do that in September but I am determined not to go back up to a size 22.
Restarting my blog is a positive step. The next positive step.
