Obsessed...

Some days I feel like I can't stop thinking about food. I have to add that I am not sitting here drooling over the thought of fish and chips, big macs, pizza, chocolate fudge cake, ice cream, mars bars etc. No, I am worrying about how to fill my points up with not eating anything heavy and stodgy. Yep, tomorrow is weigh in day and I am dreading yet another week of staying the same after being so good.

To add to my fears I have committed the ultimate weightwatchers sin of standing on the scales at home during the week and not just once. Oh no. My obsession has extended to standing on the scales every single time I go to the bathroom (which is actually quite often as I am also trying to drink my water quota). This morning my weight has fluctuated up a whole 2 pounds since I got out of bed and I am fighting the urge to go upstairs for another check.

Attatched image from http://www.chrismadden.co.uk/, used for non-commercial use.

Triggers

Well after being so good all week last night I broke my diet. I didn't track all day, I spent the whole day clearing out my loft room in preparation for the arrival of mum and dad. By 6pm I was utterly exhausted and in need of naughties. Husband had eaten my last packet of baked crisps so there was nothing for it. 3 glasses of wine and an Indian takeaway later I was feeling extremely sorry for myself. I turned on my laptop with some trepidation and logged into the online tracker and worked out all my sins and was delighted to find out that for the day I had only gone over my points by 2 points! Hoorah! I must say that I chose wisely from the menu and didn't eat until I was completely stuffed to the point of total discomfort so I am very, very pleased with myself. Harry the dog is also pleased because he hoovered up my substantial leftovers with relish.

On another good note, yesterday my bra broke. OK so that's not so good but I though that seeing as I would now have to buy another new bra (I get through them at an amazing rate) I would measure myself and yay I am a whole cup size smaller! Brilliant!

P.S. If anyone can design a bra where the wire doesn't pop out and poke you in the eye after 2 months of wear I would be your top customer.

Gall Stones

I have been having agonising stomach and rib pain for some years now, two doctors both told me it was indigestion. I never really believed this because I rarely get acid or heartburn but hey-ho I went away with the diagnosis and a prescription for Gaviscon like a good girl. Anyway after a couple of bad attacks recently I opted for a bit of self-diagnosis and came up with gallstones. I re-visited my doctor and suggested this and she agreed that I could be right and is finally sending me for some scans. This is such a relief, at last, someone listening to me. I know what indigestion feels like and the pains are not indigestion, and it makes you feel like such a fraud when you are crying off functions with bad stomach pains and moaning and whinging like an old woman about the chronic back pain.

I can't describe to you the agony of the pain but I am so ashamed of myself as really it a self-inflicted problem. Too much cholesterol. Too much wine. Too much good living. And this is exactly the kick up the backside that I really need. Joining weight watchers was a good start to the year. I have bought a fitness video by Rosemary Conley and started to go swimming. Now I just need to step it up a bit. Apparently losing weight can cause attacks when you have gallstones which is probably why I have been having more severe attacks recently.

And guess what? I have always argued that despite being really overweight I am fairly fit and healthy. Well obviously I wasn't as healthy as I thought and I have been kidding myself.

In my defence I have never been one for cream cakes or crisps or ice cream and snacking between meals. I was just too lazy too cook every night resulting in take-aways and far too much wine.

I now have a list of bad and good foods (thanks to the internet) and its been like an instant cure for my pain! I feel great! Now I just have to get past the fact that I have to live without alcohol, cheese, ice-cream, eggs, coffee (proving impossible), sweetcorn, beans and more still... Ah well. I would rather feel good than eat something and have the pain!

Reasons to be cheerful...

1.2.3.

1. I took the safety pin that is permantly affixed to my favourite blouse and hey it no longer gapes! Yippeee! I chucked the safety pin in the bin as a symbolic gesture. (Don't worry I have a draw full of them for emergencies.)


2. I can now fasten up my jacket (the one I am wearing in the picture). I have never been able to do that since I bought it! Yes I know I should have sent it back but I liked it so much I wore it as soon as it arrived!


3. The lbs are finally shifting again. I have had a period of some weeks where my weight would not budge. I can tell in my clothes I am losing weight but the scales are stubbornly defiant. I know that because I have started to do some excercise it may be because of fat turning to muscle etc. but it is so disheartening to be so good and stick to my plan only to lose 1lb in three weeks!

These are my three reasons to be cheerful today and boy do I feel cheerful!